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allison_lowe@yahoo.com

CONNECT: The Truest Love is Sacrifice


2.1-I am an Immigrant



Every February 15, appropriately right after Valentine’s Day, my daughter and I celebrate Gotcha Day.  Along with a stubborn tendency to be “right” and a healthy obsession with shows like Gilmore Girls, Law & Order and Buffy The Vampire Slayer, we also share the same history. 

 

Me first…

 

When, I was a baby in Hong Kong.  I was left in an alley, most likely by my biological mother. 

 

And yes, had I not been picked up…I would have died from exposure or even had a worse fate.  Luckily, for me…it didn’t happen that way…

 

While some people’s immediate reaction is sadness or anger, I was lucky enough that my mother (who adopted me when I was 2.5) was able to frame it in a different way.   She always emphasized that I was never ever abandoned…my bio mom loved me more than herself because she sacrificed happiness as my mother so I could have a better life.  Interestingly enough, there has been books about adoption in China which supports my mother’s story. 

 

Mothers who were caught in unfortunate circumstances would travel at least 2 hours away so their baby girls could be eligible for foreign adoption since they would be officially “abandoned” with no known ties.  Heartbreaking stories about a mother leaving her baby in a well traveled place (post offices, markets, popular alleys), ducking out of sight but always keeping an eye on the baby and following whoever took that baby.  Once she was assured that the baby was in safe hands, usually an orphanage or a government official, she would then leave to go on with her life.  Interviews with these Chinese mothers reflected how these mothers never forgot their babies.  They would always pray and hope that their girls were happy, healthy with a better life outside of China.

 

When it came time to start a family, I knew I always wanted to adopt from China too.  When I met my daughter in Nanjing, I really came to understand the love a mother has for her child.  I anxiously fussed making sure her crib was warm and comfortable and could watch her sleep for hours.  I would give her the best food first so she would eat well.   I would do anything to make her smile and laugh.  I would have panic attacks if I didn’t know where she was every second. And I would hold her as much as I could and nestle my face in her hair, inhaling every scent of her.   All these actions gave me the addicting bursts of love that we feel and chase after.  I experienced all of this after only 2 days with her…

 

My friends tell me that they’ve experience similar feelings while they were pregnant and still have those strong feelings.   Note:  Some of their kids have graduated college and starting their own families now!

 

To imagine giving up your child is painful as well as unfathomable.  I honestly don’t know if I could do that today, even though I know how I personally benefited from that action.  Yet, my biological mother and my daughter’s biological mother did so we could have a better life.  And without their sacrifices, my daughter and I might have had very different lives in China.  

 

I feel such love and gratefulness to these two women.  They are the reason why I’m here, able to tell my story to you.  And my daughter now has a chance to live a life that isn’t shameful or harsh. 

 

That’s true love, folks…true love. 

 

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allison_lowe@yahoo.com

ACHIEVE: THE VALUE IS IN THE PROCESS!

8.17-RSG Website - Machu Pichu



Are you making those New Year's Resolutions?  I'M NOT!...

Being the former Type A personality, I used to make my New Year's Resolutions every year...usually, after a short period of time (I once made it to 6 months!), I break the resolutions.  This usually results in me feeling like a failure or a complete fool...Well, NO MORE!

For 2017, I'm setting Intentions instead...

Launching my business, writing my first book, developing live webinars and eCourses are some of the things I’d like to complete this year.   In addition, I want to eat less meat, dairy, wheat, and sugar…no more cookie breaks! 1.5-emoji.tears-flow-emoticon.jpg  I also want to consistently make time for my daily workouts…(so I don’t get SO irritated with my teenager!)   Last but not least, I'm going to network more, make new connections as well as strengthen and nurture my current relationships.  (While my pups are wonderful company, I need to have REAL conversations!)

"What happened to being 'balanced' and not stressing out this year?" 

My partner thinks that I'm insane…and I’m sure you probably think he’s right.   He is a rational and reasonable guy and when he suggests that I  “ease up” or take some  things off of my list, I actually think about it...for a minute...

But, not this time...


WHY?


Because…I finally got it...THE VALUE IS IN THE PROCESS…

Here's how I shifted my perspective... 

When my mother passed in 2014, I was devastated.  I had a hard time moving pass the grief and found myself stuck in my memories and sadness.  I wanted to escape home during the holidays and dragged my family across the seas to Chiang Mai, Thailand to distract myself from my miserable state.  But because there is a higher power, I found myself in front of a Thai Monk who helped me understand that attaching myself to the end result would most always lead to sadness and disappointment.  And it was true…focusing on the fact that my mother was gone was definitely detrimental.  But focusing on the time I had with her help me get back the joy in our relationship!  And that was what is most important.

So, I'm going in 2017 knowing that I might not get all those things done on my list.  Realistically, I'm gonna eat dessert and be a couch potato some days.  I may only finish 3 out of the 4 things I want to do for my business.  And, that's okay...

For 2017, I will make a conscious effort to NOT get attached to the outcomes.  This has happened too many times in the past and I'm NOT getting stuck this year!  (Besides, Game of Thrones doesn't come on until the Fall...)

Instead, I’m going to focus on the building my skills and getting new experiences.  I'm looking for those "A HA" moments.  I’ll be in constant learning mode and keep moving forward with my vision …one step at a time…

And this year, I won't feel like giving up because I'll already be getting the VALUE OF THE PROCESS!

 

Sound good?  WHO’S WITH ME?  What are YOUR Intentions for 2017?

 

I’d love to hear about your progress for this year!  Sign up on my email list and be part of our community! 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Allie

 
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