Ready Set Go!
Ready Set Go!
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allison_lowe@yahoo.com

ACHIEVE: 5 Steps to Getting Unstuck


2.28-RSG-ACHIEVE-Getting Unstuck



ACHIEVE:   5 Steps to Getting Unstuck

 

We all hear about the Asian Tiger Moms.  You know, the mothers that are VERY focused on their children excelling at everything?  I think the true intent of these strategic parents is to be able to scare the child into submission by keeping them constantly busy and exhausted…they really can’t get into too much trouble because they are so tightly held accountable to grades and goals.  (Totally worked for me and my brother)

 

The Joy Luck Club was basically my childhood.  My parents, while they loved me in their own “Chinese” way, had extremely HIGH expectations.  A-‘s were considered Asian F’s.  (between you and me, I think Glee was written by an Asian…)  I’ve only recently started to enjoy playing the piano and playing tennis on my own without the obsession of winning the tournament and being the star at the Spring Recital.  Sadly, it’s taken me a while to get to this point… just about 40 years.

 

The obsession to “win” carried on into my adult life.  After I got my MBA, I started my own consulting business where I got to travel most of the week.  I traveled so much that I often had to look at the hotel stationery so I could figure out what city I was in.  And then, at 40, we adopted our daughter from China.   The strain of two traveling professionals with a 13-month benevolent tyrant (BT) strained our relationship and unexpectedly, we, reluctantly, became a single parents. 

 

Because we were “winners”, we made co-parenting successful.   I was able to adapt my working life to the “new normal” and when the BT was with her dad, I would eagerly take on more projects, usually working all the time she was gone.  When we were together, I tried to make up all the time I missed with her …we would have countless adventures with many people to meet and places to explore.

 

Everything was great…I was winning!

 

Except…on most days, I had a hard time getting out of bed.  I was exhausted and not too happy with where my life was going.  I had a hard time connecting my daily activities with a purpose…except to keep my child alive & thriving.  And while, I think I’m a good Tiger Mom…that wasn’t enough for me.  Something was missing…

 

I WAS STUCK!

 

Fast forward, ten years.  I found what I was missing and while my life is just as hectic and crazy as always, these days, I feel like I’m consistently moving forward.   I now go to bed feeling content & fulfilled (not exhausted) and look forward to starting my day.…

 

I learned a lot throughout this journey and I’d like to pass on what I’ve learned to you.  Here are five ideas to get you started…

 

#1 - Get More Space…

 

“Ok, what does that mean?  Does this mean I have to move out?”

 

(My partner is hilarious…I really need to get a different editor.) 

 

But he is on the right track.  Of course, you’re not going to move out of where you are now but carving a space (in time and in your mind) will help you develop & evolve yourself beyond where you are today. 

 

Think about it…if you’re so busy, rushed & burdened, you know you’re not being effective.  In fact, you might be spending  valuable time “undoing” and fixing things because you weren’t being effective in the first place.

 

On top of that, I bet you’re EXHAUSTED!

 

What are you tolerating?  Figure out an exit strategy from that situation.  Clearing the drains & strains in your life means that you’ll gain more resources & energy to be able to do the things you really want to do!

 

 Step #2 – Became More Open to Seeing Things Differently

 

Now that you have some space, start to see things from a different angle.   Reassess your “stories” and reactions.  It was an “eye-opener” for me to realize that my assumptions and beliefs that I created in my 20’s looked so different now.

 

Raising awareness  within yourself will change your reactions and expectations.  And most importantly, your definitions and approaches to what is “successful” to you will evolve.  This will keep you moving forward and open more opportunities in your life.

 

Step #3 – Find & Tap Into Your Sparks

 

Ask yourself these following questions:

 

What do you absolutely need to find out more about?  (Curiosity spark)

 

What topics/ideas do you connect with?  (Fascination spark)

 

What gets you “in the zone” where you can spend hours and hours? (Immersion spark)

 

What keeps you committed to improving your skills & knowledge? (Mastery spark)  

 

What drives you to “make an impact?  (Service spark)

 

Which answers came on the tip of our tongue?   These would be your most dominant sparks. 

 

When I did this exercise, I connected with the Service spark questions instantly!   Knowing someone has been positively impacted by my action is my definition for success.

For me, planning my projects and actions around a Service purpose helps me feel like I’m on the right path. Which is why I’ve developed Ready Set Go!  I want to motivate and inspire you to make small changes in your life!   

Knowing what comes easily and naturally to you will help you start planning your journey around the ability to spend as much of your energy pursuing your these sparks.

 

Step #4 – Figure Out What Matters Most To You?

 

Now, you know what really sparks you up!  This awareness will help you filter down so you can really identify what you really do want.  Don’t dwell on how bad your current situation is…this is what’s making you stuck.  Think instead of moving towards what you do want.  Some things to think about are:

 

The Transformation – How do you feel now?…What do you want to feel instead?...  How will you change?

The Vision – How will you know that you got “there?”  How will you measure success?


Valuing the Process is the ultimate goal.  My favorite saying is, “It’s not just the destination…it’s the journey.”

 

Step #5 – Understand & Accept Your Obstacles

 

Everyone hits a wall…if you didn’t have obstacles, then you probably wouldn’t be stuck? 

 

Practice that openness in Step #2.  Instead of looking at this as an obstacle, look at this as a great learning experience.  What can you control?  What can you influence?  Analyze what’s getting in your way and think of different ways to work through it or around it

 

Change your timeline…change your destination but keep going forward.  Ignoring your obstacles will just lead to delaying or even giving up what you set out to do.  And, then you’re right back where you were at the beginning of this article.

 

And, no one wants that…

 

I’m curious to hear if this approach works for you!   Feel free to comment below about your experience and how this might work (or not work) for you…

 

Till next time…

If you liked this article and want more, I’d love to include you in my Email List. I promise not to bombard you. I send out monthly newsletters with helpful articles & invites that may help alleviate your frustrations with Health, Life Balance, Career, Purposes & Relationships. I think this information would be useful and valuable and it's at no cost to you! Sign up here… http://ready-set-go.me

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allison_lowe@yahoo.com

NURTURE: Honoring Your Inner Voice

2.28-RSG-Dont-shush-your-inner-voice


 
Have you ever kicked yourself for not listening to that inner voice?

 

I’ve kicked myself so much... I have bruises!

 

As many of you may know, I’ve been a recruiter for many many years and I’m quite good at it…I’m the one who can find the “needle in the haystack” and hire 60 people in 30 days.  (Yay me!)  But after 20+ years, I can do it in my sleep and sadly, have found less joy & satisfaction at the end of the work day. 

 

So, I started my journey to figure out, “what’s it all about, Allie?”

 

“I think you should coach, honey…you’re very good at telling me what to do.” 

 

Let me clarify here…I’m really good at “suggesting” what I think my partner should do.   And although, I hate to admit it…in a sense… he was a ‘little’ right.   (Shhhhh…)  I really do like helping people and coaching definitely sparked an interest.  But, I approached this career path with a bit of caution…my previous exposure to Life Coaching had a very “You go, Girl!” theme and I’d mostly observe Life Coaches telling their audience that they can JUST DO IT no matter what kind of circumstances that client is facing.  And then, after their “show,”  they would just walk away…

 

This way didn’t work for me at all.  In my career, I know that reaching our goals is a lot of hard work, sacrifice, and planning.  I didn’t want to be a  “cheerleader” …I really wanted to help people figure out their pain point and help them acknowledge what they were willing to do to eliminate that.  Step-by-step.  #notawoowoogirl

 

I did my research and some networking to find a program that was right for me.  I enrolled into Coach U and after my first 6 months of classes, I really grew to love it.  I wasn’t learning how to tell my clients what to do at all…I was guiding them, helping to honor their inner voice and motivating them to DO something about it.  And, once they came up with a plan, I’d gently hold them accountable for the deadlines that they would set for themselves. 

 

THIS was my purpose now.  I started dreaming about when I'd open my own practice…

 

Because of my history in recruiting, it was just assumed that I would go into Career Coaching.  Simple, right?   However, for me, there is SO much more!  To help someone figure what they really want to do takes MUCH more than just talking about resumes, interviews and promotions. 

 

You really have to be able to understand your client…what they want…why they want it…and what they’re willing to do or give up to have it.  And, we all know, that our careers are not the only things that will make us satisfied and happy with our lives.  Many people I know have GREAT jobs they love…but they’re still struggling with a health, relationship or life balance issue.


But, even the coach doesn't keep her eye on the ball all the time...


 

 “Honey, you are SO good at career coaching…why complicate your life?  Just help people get the jobs they want and they’ll be happy…which means you will be happy…which means I’LL be happy…”

 

Again, my partner had a point...he's on a winning streak.  I have 20+ years experience in hiring people and helping candidates get the jobs they want.  And part of the reason I wanted to scale back from my consulting was to be able to establish a better Life Balance.   More time to spend with him and my kid…More time to spend rescuing animals…More time with my friends… More time for myself.

 

So, I altered my path.  I’ve always admired a well-known company and an opportunity came up for me to do some passive recruiting.   Passive recruiting is when a recruiter reaches out to employees of competing companies to establish connections.  I was supposed to find out what that candidate was missing from their current situation and highlight my company instead.   


I had a list of my client's company's advantages and benefits ready but most of the people I connected with weren't interested in that.  What they really wanted to focus on was how to get out of the field itself and pursue their “real” life dreams.  


 

Hmmmm…that inner voice was talking to me again...

 

Since my new assignment was flexible, I also started volunteering to do Career Coaching for veterans.  And, guess what?  Although our conversations would start out about helping them find a job, we’d spend most of the time trying to figure out how they could live the life they really wanted.

 

Now, the inner voice was getting louder…

 

After being with the passive recruiting assignment for a while, the company was very pleased with my work and I got a call from my client wanting to make our arrangement “official.”   While I was flattered and my ego was soaring, my body started giving me very different signals.   My throat started to close up and all of a sudden, I felt really flushed. 

 

Now, my inner voice was shouting!  “STOP…THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT!”

 

I gave notice the next day.  I knew I had to keep moving forward on the path that I envisioned my Life Purpose to be.   And while I  still got a thrill in finding my "needle in the haystacks," in my heart, what I really want to do is help people live the life that they really want to live. 

 

From that day on, I made the commitment to myself to found and develop Ready Set Go!  To get you unStuck.  To help you become aware how Health, Balance, Purpose and Connections all contribute to keep you moving forward.  To help you with what’s holding you back from living the life that you want.  

 

And, I’ve never looked back. 

 

Sure...I have less time and money for other things now but I'm happy!  I know I’m on my right track because I’m finally listening and committing to my inner voice... to live the life that I want.  

 

How about you?…What’s your inner voice telling you?

If you liked this article and want more, I’d love to include you in my Email List. I promise not to bombard you. I send out monthly newsletters with helpful articles & invites that may help alleviate your frustrations with Health, Life Balance, Career, Purposes & Relationships. I think this information would be useful and valuable and it's at no cost to you! Sign up here… http://ready-set-go.me


 

 

 

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allison_lowe@yahoo.com

NOURISH: 3 Natural Ways To Beat A Cold!

2.24-RSG-Blog-3 Natural Ways to Beat A Cold.jpg

NOURISH:  3 Natural Ways To Beat A Cold!

 

Well, despite the fact that I was running from it as fast as I could, I caught the dreaded cold that everyone has or had...some people I know are actually on their third round.

 

You know what I’m talking about…it first starts as the sniffles (I knew I shouldn’t have done yoga with the cat….) and then the headache, stuffiness and crankiness.

 

“WHY are you breathing so loud?”

 

No respectful words can describe the look I give to my partner.

 

Then comes the full on runny nose and congestion.  This is truly my version of hell.  Not only is it embarrassing to walk around with Kleenex up my sleeve but I’m basically Patient O.

 

“Mom, please don’t sit there…I’ll bring you some hot tea when you GO BACK TO YOUR OWN ROOM!”

 

Are you feeling the love in my house?...

 

I’ve found that using over-the-counter cold medicine’s side effects are usually worse than the cold itself.  Any alcohol-based or antihistamines drugs usually cause my digestive systems to revolt and I hate waking up several days later not knowing where or who I am.

 

And, let’s face it…most of us don’t have time to be down…even for a day!    After all, it’s not like I have the “Man-Flu!  (For those of you who live with males, you know exactly what I’m referring to…)

 

So, this last time, armed with new knowledge of natural remedies, I attacked this nasty bug with everything I learned.  I instantly started to feel better and was able to learn how to put my first Newsletter together.  (Stay tuned…)

 

I got back on track within two days!  Here are my three natural weapons to attack a cold:

 

#Weapon 1 - Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV)

 

So much has been written about this miracle natural remedy.  It’s anti-glycemic and can help with blood sugar and diabetes control.  It’s also known to be full of probiotics and other beneficial bacteria, which will support your immune function. 

 

But the most important feature, especially, when you’re all stuffed up, is that ACV contains potassium (this thins the mucus) and acetic acid. (This prevents germ growth which is most likely contributing to your nasal congestion.)  Boil some water and put a teaspoon of ACV in and drink it like a tea. 

 

ACV also helps with that sore throat.  Most germs can’t survive in the acidic environment it creates.  Mix ¼ cup of ACV with ¼ cup of warm water, gargle every hour and you’ll notice results right away.  

 

For the dreaded cough, you can make your own natural cough syrup by mixing ground ginger, cayenne pepper, and honey with ACV.  This will also clear congestion as well as reduce your cough naturally.

 

Make sure that you use the unfiltered kind…here’s what I use - http://bragg.com/products/bragg-organic-apple-cider-vinegar.html.  I order mine from Amazon and you can easily find unfiltered ACV in most grocery stores.

 

#Weapon 2 – Essential Oils

 

Last year, I was introduced to Doterra (www.doterra.com).   I’ve always heard about essential oils but never really used them except in my bath.  Now, I take them internally or put a couple of drops in a diffuser.  I never realized that this natural remedy could be so effective, especially when I’m not feeling good. 

 

Here’s what I used:  

 

Breathe - Breathe is a Doterra blend of essential oils including Laurel Leaf, Peppermint, Eucalyptus, Melaleuca (aka Tree Tea), Lemon, Cardamom, Ravintsara, and Ravensara.  I put a drop or two on my hands, rub then together and cup my hands to cover my nasal passages…then, I take a deep breathe in.   I also rub a little bit on my nostrils as well as on the side of my nose, just for good measure.  If you’re really congested, you can also rub it on your neck and chest.  This works fast and clears you up almost instantly!  You can also use Breathe in the bath or diffuser.  If your skin is sensitive, be sure to dilute the oil with a carrier oil/lotion. 

 

On Guard – is also a Doterra blend of essential oils consisting of Wild Orange Peel, Clove Bud, Cinnamon Bark/Leaf, Eucalyptus Leaf, and Rosemary Leaf/Flower.   These oils are known for their positive effects on the immune system.  I take this internally with a glass of water and I feel my body getting stronger by the minute.

 

Oregano - is one of the most potent and powerful essential oils and has been used for centuries in traditional health practices for its cleansing and immune-boosting properties.  Caution should be taken when inhaling or diffusing Oregano; only one to two drops is needed.  I put a drop in a glass of water along with my OnGuard.

 

Of course, you don’t have to use this brand exclusively.  You can very easily go to the health store that sells these essential oils and actually mix up a custom blend of your own.  Just make sure to ask the expert on staff…sometimes, oils may not blend as well together or if you have certain allergies, they may be able to suggest some alternatives for you. 

 

One important thing to remember is to make sure that the oils you use are pure 100% essential oils, especially if you’re taking them internally.  I used to buy my oils thru Amazon.   I did some Internet research and I learned that many manufacturers put in unnatural fillers!    Yuck!  Doterra (https://doterra.com/US/en) and Young Living (https://www.youngliving.com) are the most reputable pure Essential Oil sources

 

 

 

#Weapon 3 – Bone Broth

 

Ok…hopefully, you’re now less congested and your throat is less sore.  Now, let’s work on getting rid of this nasty bug and make it stay away. 

 

When I’m sick, I usually will sip as much Bone Broth as I can and again, I usually start feeling better by the afternoon.  I’ve added this to my daily routine just to build up my immune system.

 

Bone broths have been known to promote healing in several ways, mainly by fighting off infections from viruses that cause the flu and colds.   There’s scientific support that chicken soup can help you with the common cold.  Chicken contains a natural amino acid called cysteine, which can thin the mucus in your lungs and make it less sticky so you can expel it more easily.  Bone broth is also a highly nutrient-dense food.  It is rich in minerals such as calcium and magnesium.

 

Bone broths are extremely inexpensive and easy to prepare.  They can be made from the bones of healthy animals such as beef, bison, lamb, poultry or fish.   Many ethnic food stores will sell the bones alone for very cheaply.  There are some really great recipes to make your own…just plug in “Bone Broth Recipes” in your search engine and several recipes will come up. 

 

Now I wish I could tell you that I am a domestic goddess and I make a batch every week.  But, I don’t.  Sometimes, I juggle so much, I forget what I’m juggling…but that’s another blog post.   For those of you in my shoes, you can also buy really good Bone Broth.  Any health food store will have them or you can also order online.  I use the brand, Osso Good (https://www.ossogoodbones.com).

 

For me, bone broth is an acquired taste.  If you’re just starting, try diluting ½ cup with hot water.  Pretty soon, you’ll get used to the taste and then you’ll start to crave it.

 

My partner recently got my cold.  I quickly gave him these three natural remedies. 

 

“Hey, I feel much better now.  I must have had just a normal cold instead of my “Man Flu…”

 

Between you and me, I think this would work for the Man Flu too.  I hope you feel better soon…let me know how this works for you!

 

If you liked this article and want more, I’d love to include you in my Email List.  I promise not to bombard you.  I send out monthly newsletters with helpful articles & invites that may help alleviate your frustrations with Health, Life Balance, Career, Purposes & Relationships.   I think this information would be useful and valuable and it's at no cost to you!  Sign up here… http://ready-set-go.me 

 

 


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allison_lowe@yahoo.com

CONNECT: The Truest Love is Sacrifice


2.1-I am an Immigrant



Every February 15, appropriately right after Valentine’s Day, my daughter and I celebrate Gotcha Day.  Along with a stubborn tendency to be “right” and a healthy obsession with shows like Gilmore Girls, Law & Order and Buffy The Vampire Slayer, we also share the same history. 

 

Me first…

 

When, I was a baby in Hong Kong.  I was left in an alley, most likely by my biological mother. 

 

And yes, had I not been picked up…I would have died from exposure or even had a worse fate.  Luckily, for me…it didn’t happen that way…

 

While some people’s immediate reaction is sadness or anger, I was lucky enough that my mother (who adopted me when I was 2.5) was able to frame it in a different way.   She always emphasized that I was never ever abandoned…my bio mom loved me more than herself because she sacrificed happiness as my mother so I could have a better life.  Interestingly enough, there has been books about adoption in China which supports my mother’s story. 

 

Mothers who were caught in unfortunate circumstances would travel at least 2 hours away so their baby girls could be eligible for foreign adoption since they would be officially “abandoned” with no known ties.  Heartbreaking stories about a mother leaving her baby in a well traveled place (post offices, markets, popular alleys), ducking out of sight but always keeping an eye on the baby and following whoever took that baby.  Once she was assured that the baby was in safe hands, usually an orphanage or a government official, she would then leave to go on with her life.  Interviews with these Chinese mothers reflected how these mothers never forgot their babies.  They would always pray and hope that their girls were happy, healthy with a better life outside of China.

 

When it came time to start a family, I knew I always wanted to adopt from China too.  When I met my daughter in Nanjing, I really came to understand the love a mother has for her child.  I anxiously fussed making sure her crib was warm and comfortable and could watch her sleep for hours.  I would give her the best food first so she would eat well.   I would do anything to make her smile and laugh.  I would have panic attacks if I didn’t know where she was every second. And I would hold her as much as I could and nestle my face in her hair, inhaling every scent of her.   All these actions gave me the addicting bursts of love that we feel and chase after.  I experienced all of this after only 2 days with her…

 

My friends tell me that they’ve experience similar feelings while they were pregnant and still have those strong feelings.   Note:  Some of their kids have graduated college and starting their own families now!

 

To imagine giving up your child is painful as well as unfathomable.  I honestly don’t know if I could do that today, even though I know how I personally benefited from that action.  Yet, my biological mother and my daughter’s biological mother did so we could have a better life.  And without their sacrifices, my daughter and I might have had very different lives in China.  

 

I feel such love and gratefulness to these two women.  They are the reason why I’m here, able to tell my story to you.  And my daughter now has a chance to live a life that isn’t shameful or harsh. 

 

That’s true love, folks…true love. 

 


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