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ACHIEVE: Following and Living Your Dream... 4 things You Should Know Before You Start Your Journey…

11.18-RSG-Coffee Blog Post




When I look back in my career, I always fondly remember when I was working with the Client Adoption Team at  Monster Worldwide.   We were a fairly new group with many initiatives to implement and we were very successful.  It was definitely hard and satisfying work and during our most challenging and stressful 48 hour days, we would remind each other how we were “Living the Dream!”    

 

Up until last year, I was a Corporate Recruiting Consultant working with some great companies building their teams.  I’d been doing this for most of my working life and while I really liked what I was doing, I felt something was missing.   I was really stuck!   After some intense soul searching and understanding what I needed, I made the decision to leave my established career and start my own Coaching practice.   Again, I’m "Living the Dream!"   I was able to uncover my Life Purpose (more about that in future posts)  and create work for myself where I could live my dream every day.  Looking back, this was one of the most challenging times for me and completely worth it!  My life has definitely changed for the better.

 

I can happily tell you that I go to bed each night feeling pretty content and usually wake up inspired and ready to go.  Ok, that might be pushing it…in reality, you won’t see me “ready to go” while getting my daughter to school at 6 am …let me change that statement to read…”after my first cup of coffee, I’m inspired and ready to go!” 

 

Are you living your dream?  Are you working in your dream job?  Satisfied with your health and fitness?  Living with people who you connect with and feel supported?  Incorporating a balance of Work & Life?   I’m going to guess that since you’ve read this far, you’re probably pursuing your dream or at least, thinking about it.  Here are 4 things that I wish I knew when I was pursuing mine.

 

1/Get comfortable with not KNOWING things. 

 

I consider myself pretty knowledgeable about most things.  But changing career paths and my expertise field was daunting.  I knew I brought a valuable education and broad experience from my past career but there were a lot of aspects that I really needed to educate myself on.  Which is what I did…I enrolled in a Coaching program and took an additional program with the Institute of Integrative Nutrition which helped me specialize in Holistic Nutrition and Wellness.  And, I’m still taking writing, teaching and entrepreneurial courses that will hone my skills even more.   I’ve learned to love learning and if you think about it…a thirst for something new is what was probably driving me to make a change. 

 

So, don’t discourage yourself with feelings of inadequacy…know that you will be lacking in some areas and take the positive steps to narrow that gap!

 

2/Really understand the WHY of your Dream!

 

When my clients tell me about their Dream, the first thing I want to know is why this is so important to them?   Trust me, there’s no judgment in this question at all.  The point of this question is to uncover and understand what is motivating them and for them to know that this is really what they want!   

 

I wanted to go to Law School for the longest time…took the LSAT and got into a great program.  When someone asked me how I was going to juggle my family and work, I realized that my family would be always more important than my job.  I became a mom within a year and I was so happy that I could balance a family life with my career.  So many of us chase what we think we want and then when we get there, we find that we don’t want to be there at all or other things are more important to us.   So here are some good questions to ask yourself before you start…

 

  • WHAT does my Dream LOOK like?…Paint a picture of your Vision as detailed as possible…
  • HOW do I want to FEEL after I reach my Dream?  ..Are there other dreams or options that can give me the same feelings?
  • HOW will I change from WHO I am now and WHO I’ll be after my Dream is reached?   Pinpointing how you will actually change after your dream will help you incorporate what really is important to you 


 

3/Will the BENEFIT of my Dream OUTWEIGH the SACRIFICES I’ll have to make?

 

I have to say that this part took the longest for me to figure out.  It wasn’t just the consistent paycheck that I sacrificed.   Leaving what I was an expert in to move towards something that was new was humbling.  In my past career, I had a great reputation in Recruiting and I was always busy, even during the slow times.  Now, as I’m building my practice, I’m definitely working outside of my comfort level.  

 

I was lucky enough to have a great experience that confirmed I was doing the right thing. Last Spring, I had an excited client who made a special trip back into the office to show me his job offer.  He emphasized that it was our work together that helped him get there.  I walked on a cloud for the rest of that week!  Totally worth the risk and the "getting out of my comfort zone!"

 

 

4/WHAT does it look like AFTER you reach your Dream?

 

We all know that it’s a GREAT feeling when you finally reach your dream!  So, what happens after you’re done?  If you are like me and some of my clients, you might feel a little sad after your dream is completed.  However, you can push past this phase by envisioning what it will be like after you succeed.  And then, start all over again.  The beauty about “Living the Dream” is there is no limit to how many dreams you can live! 

 

Got that dream job?  Now, you can work on Life/Work Balance!  Feeling Fit and Healthy?  Now, it may be a great time to connect with that special someone?  Have you been taking care of yourself and getting to know what makes you inspired?  Maybe, it’s time to figure out and really work your Life Purpose?

 

Looking ahead and continually pursuing different and bigger dreams will always keep you going forward.  Which will keep you inspired and motivated to keep making positive changes to your life and constantly, “Living Your Dream!”

 

I better have more coffee…I just thought of two more dreams I liked to follow… 

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NURTURE: Why is it so hard to be true to ourselves?

11.1-RSG-Blog Post - Oscar Wilde


Last Saturday, I lead a great Powerhouse Circle group in discussing ways how to get ourselves “unstuck.”  We talked about the different ways we felt stuck…how we got there and our challenges to “pull ourselves out of the mud” and move forward.  There were great insights shared and the one that stood out the most was how we all “play a role” that’s not true to who we really are.

 

And that got me thinking…

 

Why is it so hard to be true to ourselves?

 

Now, I can’t speak for any of you because, of course, we have different perspectives and approaches to life but I would like to share some reasons and insights that came out of that conversation…

 

We don’t like CONFLICT

 

I don’t know about you but I will go out of my way NOT to disagree or disappoint people.   Consequently, I have ended up in relationships, situations and conversations that lasted way too long. 

 

When I was in my late twenties, I started dating a friend of a friend.  My group of friends were so excited!  Visions of an engagement, wedding and future family were the topics of most of our conversations.   And, I’ll admit…I fell into right into those dreams.  But there was a problem…while I liked the guy, I could never see him as my future partner.

 

However, I stayed with him for two very long years.  Every time I tried to break off the relationship, it would start arguments between my family and friends, as well as with him and then I would just “settle in” and tell myself that life wasn’t meant to be perfect.  You know how the story ends…one morning, I woke up and realized that I was living someone else’s life.  Needless to say, we are no longer together and I eventually met the love of my life.  Best of all, everyone likes him...most importantly, ME!

 

 

We want to be ACCEPTED

 

We all have had experience at least once when we shared something that made us different than the group.  Unfortunately, that has rarely been celebrated.

 

When I first started out in my career, I had a great opportunity to implement HR functions at a Manufacturing Company who never had a HR presence before.  I found myself on the Leadership Team with a group of experienced middle-aged professionals.  Being a new grad, I had fresh ideas and limitless energy.  And, I really knew my stuff.  I remember sharing my ideas to improve Employee Morale the first month and having them all quickly shot down.  I was embarrassed and intimidated at that time and from that point on, I vowed to just “go with the flow.” 

 

Not surprisingly, I got sick a lot and hated my job.  I felt useless and like an imposter.  And when people kept quitting, I felt resentful and frustrated.  After a year, I jumped at a different job offer from a company who really valued my ideas.

 

We have EXPECTATIONS of Who We SHOULD Be

 

We all have the gap of who we SHOULD be and WHO we really are.  I guess the real question is why WHO we are isn’t good enough for our worst critic…ourselves.

 

I remember when I was just starting out in my Health Coaching practice and I went to a networking event.  They had a great breakfast spread…fruit, yogurt, and  ALMOND CROISSANTS.  Almond Croissants are on my top 5 of Favorite Foods but since I was THE Health Coach, I only took the fruit and yogurt and sat down at a table with some very friendly women.  One woman started eating her croissant and started telling us how fresh and delicious it was with just the right amount of sweetness.  I couldn’t stand it…I quickly excused myself to get one for myself, making a joke that my Healthy Eating Plan was based on a 80%-20% rule and I was taking a Zumba class later that day. 

 

Later that day, one of the women asked for my card.  She scheduled her initial consultation immediately and was ready to start!  I complemented her on her drive and motivation and she laughed and told me, “It was you going back for the croissant.  I knew that you were “real,” and wouldn’t be standing on a pedestal dictating what I should do.  You were comfortable enough with yourself to be who you are and I want someone to help me be like that.”

 
So, the next time you begin to doubt yourself and head down that path you KNOW you don’t want to go towards…ask yourself these questions…

 

-Am I just avoiding conflict?  Am I living true to who I am or am I just trying to please the people in my life?

 

-Am I afraid of not being accepted?  What value do I bring to this group/project if I just go along with what everyone says? 

 

And finally...

Why would the "REAL ME" not be enough?  What do I have and want to offer?  

 

Now excuse me…I have to go for a run since there is a bakery that just opened up…guess what their specialty is?   ;)   I’m interested in hearing/reading about what you think?  Thoughts?

 

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