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allison_lowe@yahoo.com

It IS what It IS, MOM!

9.27-RSG - Blog 2-2



I became a mom at 40…let me tell you that journey can be rewarding & challenging at the same time.  What stands out most in this adventure is how much I learn from my wise & wacky kid.  From time to time, I’d like to share these stories with you and I’d love to hear yours!   

 

I started out as a very idealistic mom.  I was raised to believe that if you worked hard and planned well, the outcome would be as expected.  After all, this was mostly the experience in my professional and social world.  I worked my 60 hours a week and I was rewarded with great commissions and recognition.  I studied hard and I got a 3.9 GPA in school.  I planned well and everything would seem to work out as planned.

 

That is until the Charming Tyrant came into my life…

 

I remember trying to get this little one down for the night.  She wasn’t ready for bed and kept me telling that she was NOT tired and that she really wanted MORE cuddle time and ONE more story.  I had to catch a flight in the morning and really needed to get packing.  Finally after much pleading and pouting, I told her, “Cutie…It is what it is…I know you’re not tired and you want to stay awake longer but it is what it is.”

 

The next morning, there was the frantic morning rush.  The tyrant was moving in slow motion…stopping to cuddle with the cat…putting one shoe on and looking for her other shoe (which was in her hand) …spinning herself in circles and counting how long it would take to “really” get dizzy (“Look mom, I can count!”)  Finally, after much dramedy, we were able to finally get out of the house.

 

Exasperated and stressed, I muttered under my breath…”For once, I would just like to get out of the house ON time, WITHOUT incidents.”  And the Charming Tyrant looked up at me with that sweet smile and said, “It is what it IS, MOM!”

 

I guess there are several “take-aways” here.  One…kids really listen to EVERYTHING you say.   Two…parents really should “WALK THE TALK” or they will get busted.  However, let me explain my true Light Bulb moment… (please visualize the Light Bulb turning on in my head…)

 

That morning, my toddler helped me really understand what “It is what it is” really meant.  She GOT it way before I did…When my marriage broke up, I tearfully told her that we had to move and our lives were going to change…she comforted me by telling me “It is what it is, Mom…we’ll be ok.” When our flight got cancelled and we had to wait 6 hours for the next flight, she calmed me down with “It is what it is, Mom…let’s get a snack.”  And even last Friday, when we were stuck in rush traffic, she shrugged and said, “It is what it is, Mom…let me play you this cool song I downloaded.”

 

I have definitely evolved knowing this information and now, I strive to be more grounded, accepting and adaptable.  Looking back, I realize that I was definitely in denial and would purposely avoid any thing that would bring me stress, pain or feeling uncomfortable.  And…when I couldn’t bypass it, I would become so angry, frustrated and feel completely disillusioned.  Sometimes, out of fear or spite, I’d stop what I was working towards because I didn’t want to be in the same uncomfortable situation again.

 

I don’t think that served me well at all and I probably missed out on a lot of great opportunities.  (Would have, Should have, Could have…)  Thanks to my daughter, I’m better at recognizing that life can get messy, emotional and hard to deal with.  Because, “It is what it is.”  Changing my perspective and approach has helped me quickly move on with the frustration and disappointment.  Instead, I start to focus on figuring out alternative ways to deal with the situation.

 

For example, I could just go to bed and be well rested for the next day.  Or, leave an unhappy relationship sooner instead of tolerating the tension and negativity.  Or buy the whole album because I really like the “cool” song that I listened to while I was in Friday night traffic. 

 

After all, It is what it is… 

 

I’d love to hear about your “It is what it is” experiences! 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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